101 Corny Jokes Funny Corny Jokes

Can’t quite remember the cute, corny jokes you used to tell way back when? We’ve got you covered with the best and funniest of the bunch. And with that, we give you 101 funny corny jokes.

101 Corny Jokes

1. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
2. Why did the bike fall over? It was two tired.
3. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
4. Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse.
5. What did the policeman say to his belly button? You’re under a vest.
6. Why did the man get hit by a bike every day? He was stuck in a vicious cycle.
7. What did the bartender say to the turkey sandwich when it tried to order a beer? “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
8. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
9. What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment.
10. Why do people say “break a leg” when you go on stage? Because every play has a cast.
11. What do you call an alligator detective? An investi-gator.
12. What kind of ghost has the best hearing? The eeriest.
13. How did the dead brother and his dead brother resemble each other? They were dead ringers.
14. Why are there gates around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.
15. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pen? Because it’s pointless.
16. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
17. Where can you buy soup in bulk? The stock market.
18. If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes.
19. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
20. What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her? Namaste.
21. How do you tell if a vampire is sick? See if he is coffin.
22. What do you call fake spaghetti? An im-pasta.
23. Why did the farmer win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
24. When do computers overheat? When they need to vent.
25. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
26. Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
27. What do you call a factory that sells good products? A satis-factory.
28. What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes.
29. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh.
30. How do rabbits travel? By hareplanes.
31. What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup.
32. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
33. How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
34. Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.
35. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? If it had four doors it would be called a chicken sedan.
36. Have you heard about the corduroy pillow? It’s making headlines!
37. What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships.
38. What was the frog’s job at the hotel? Bellhop.
39. What do cows most like to read? Cattle-logs.
40. Why did the photo go to jail? Because it was framed.
41. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.
42. Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? For drizzle!
43. Why did the restaurant hire a pig? He was good at bacon.
44. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
45. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
46. Why are the Irish so wealthy? Because their capital is Dublin.
47. What do lawyers wear to work? Lawsuits.
48. What has more lives than a cat? A frog, because it croaks every day.
49. What’s that restaurant on the moon like? It doesn’t have atmosphere.
50. What’s the best way to burn 1,000 calories? Leave the pizza in the oven.
51. What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law.
52. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They crack up too easily.
53. When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.
54. Why don’t you buy things with Velcro? It’s a rip-off.
55. Why did the robber jump in the shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
56. What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs? A con descending.
57. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
58. What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away? A receding hare line.
59. How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
60. Why did the kid stock up on yeast? He wanted to make some dough.
61. What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality.
62. What kind of shoes do robbers wear? Sneakers.
63. What do you call a man that irons clothes? Iron Man.
64. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
65. How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut.
66. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
67. What kind of cheese isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
68. Where does the electric cord go to shop? An outlet mall.
69. Why are frogs are so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
70. Why don’t melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
71. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback.
72. What did one hat say to the other? You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.
73. Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle? Because he’s always lion.
74. Why were the fish’s grades bad? They were below sea level.
75. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left.
76. What do you call banana peel shoes? Slippers.
77. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
78. Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his snack? He was shellfish.
79. Why wouldn’t the poppy seed leave the casino? He was on a roll.
80. What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
81. What does corn say when it gets a compliment? Aw shucks!
82. Why did the robber jump in the tub? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
83. What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.
84. What did the elevator say when it sneezed? I think I’m coming down with something.
85. Why are elephants wrinkly? Because you can’t iron them.
86. Why couldn’t the pirate learn the alphabet? Because he got lost at C.
87. What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing. It waved.
88. How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut.
89. Why can’t you trust duck doctors? They’re all quacks.
90. What do you do with a sick boat? Take it to the doc.
91. What runs but never goes anywhere? A fridge.
92. What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain.
93. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
94. How does a duck buy lipstick? She just puts it on her bill.
95. What do horses say when they fall? I can’t giddy up.
96. How do you impress a baker? Bring him flours.
97. How does a rancher keep track of his cattle? With a cow-culator.
98. Which flowers are the best kissers? Tu-lips.
99. What do sprinters eat before they race? Nothing. They fast.
100. What did the cake say to the fork? You want a piece of me?
101. How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? By the bark. Story by Korin Miller.  Want more corny jokes? Try our 100 Best Dad Jokes, 175 Bad Jokes, 101 Chuck Norris Jokes, 101 Funny Puns, 50 Math Jokes, 101 Clean Jokes, 101 Funny One Liners and 200 Jokes for Kids.