So, what has it been like watching these episodes back, especially going out in such a brutal way where you were clearly unaware of what was happening on the tribe?Well, it’s a completely different feeling when you’re watching it back. Because aside from the fact that we are thinking that our game is going a certain way, it’s also how I’m being shown on TV, or the things that people are getting to see about me, that changes everything. My story was a little bit different towards the last two episodes from being like a very nice person to just being someone that’s barking orders. I’m like, “How did that happen? How is that even possible?” That’s not who I am because I’m very shy. But it’s reality TV, and I love every second of it as well. I watch all the reality shows, and I’ve been watching Survivor for 43 seasons. And I’ve always seen people that are a certain way. And it kind of makes me think, “I wonder if they’re really nice, but maybe somehow they grasp certain words and made them sound a certain way.“In the past two episodes, we’ve heard your fellow Coco members talk about how you had an ego and were even called “sassy” a couple of times. What’s your reaction to that perception of you?I was getting a little comfortable. Let me just start by saying I was the alternate for the show. So coming into Survivor, I was the alternate. And also, after the first challenge, I kind of messed up. I was always in the bottom. And I was always trying to work really hard not to be in the bottom. I was cooking as much as I could. I was finding food as much as I could. And it got to the point where Karla, me, and Ryan were working together, or we thought we were working together. But there were so many more conversations that we had. We connected pretty well. And we were friends on the show and everything. But I started getting a little comfortable. As far as being cocky or having an ego, honestly, I was trying to be confident. I was scared every single day that I was there. I was scared to do anything because I’m like, “The smallest little thing that I do could send me home because I’m already in the bottom. They need me to just mess up one more time or to do something dumb for me to be going home.” And honestly, me watching back, I don’t know where all of that came from. I can see how certain things could have been saying I was barking orders. It’s something as small as me having a conversation with you and telling you, “Hey, so who are you voting for tonight? What about you? Oh, yeah, okay, so you’re voting for this person, you’re voting for this person, you’re voting for this person.” And then if they only show the part where I’m saying, “You’re voting for this person,” now, they’re gonna feel like I’m the one calling the shots or I’m telling people what to do. But that’s not how I am. I’m actually very shy. And I talk to people; I communicate with people. I don’t tell them what to do.When I asked Lindsay last week why you were targeted so early on, she said, “I had two reasons why I wanted Geo to go home. One I can’t talk about right now. It’s not my story to tell. I want him to be able to tell that story.” Can you talk about what she was alluding to?She was talking about me being an alternate and the easy vote out. That I wasn’t supposed to be there from the very beginning. And although I was happy to be there, I think she just looked at me. I mean, I love Lindsay because she was playing a very good game. And she was already setting me up. She didn’t want to go home either. So she was like, “Okay, if anything happened, let’s say Geo. I mean, nobody really has connected with him. He wasn’t even supposed to be here.” I really don’t know because I didn’t ask her. But I know those were the two reasons; the one was me being an alternate, while the other one was not being the strongest person. And it was just an easy way out for me.Let’s fast-forward to this past episode. Were you aware that Ryan was throwing the challenge to get rid of Cassidy?I know that, I think the day before or before the challenge, Ryan had mentioned, “Hey, what if I throw the challenge to just get Cassidy out?” And I knew I could be going home because I’m still in the bottom. I just wanted to make it through merge now. I was like, “Can we just make it through merge before you start doing all this stuff?” But I didn’t know he was throwing the challenge. He had mentioned it, but I didn’t know that he did. Because if I would have known, I would have told him, “Don’t do that. I don’t want to go home. I’m in the bottom.“Talk to me about your relationship with Ryan. On paper, you two couldn’t be more different. Yet you really vibed out there, with him even saying he feels like he knew you before the show.I mean, we’re completely different. He does the complete opposite of what I will ever do in my life. He has such a good heart. And he doesn’t think like me. I follow people’s energy. And if I feel like you have good energy, you have a good heart, I want to be part of your life. I want you to be part of my life as well, because that’s how I am. And with that, that’s how I find people that’ll work or play the game on Survivor as well. But I mean, in Survivor, you don’t really follow your heart. (Laughs.)On the other side of the relationship spectrum is Cassidy, who you start really going after last episode. Were there any specific incidents that made you want to target her, or was it as simple as feeling you couldn’t trust her in your gut?No, there were specific things happening. And I wish it would have shown a little bit more so that people can know what’s happened. It started with cassava chopping. I remember that I was I was doing everything I could to stay. I was cooking every day; I was chopping cassava every day. I know that some people were helping too. But I want them to make sure that I did something for everyone. And there was one day, when I was lying on the floor chopping, she came up to me and boasted, “Start chopping it differently so we can feel like we’re eating something different today.” I was like, “Wow, are you serious?” I’ve been doing this. I’m tired. I don’t even start eating, and they’re already saying time to go on a challenge. And I’m still like, “Oh [expletive], I gotta do all this stuff so we can all eat.” And again, I’m not the only one that was cooking. But I was one of the people doing a lot to be useful around camp. To me, I think that’s where everything started. And that turned into a little argument. I went and walked off. I had spoken to Karla and Ryan and said, “Hey, you know what, I’m kind of frustrated.” And I’ll own up to this; I called it a tantrum. Because she didn’t tell me. She started saying, “Oh, see, this is how people are. I don’t know why men don’t listen to women.” And I was like, “Oh my gosh, why she’s doing this? I feel like she’s throwing a tantrum because I’m not chopping the food the way she wanted it to be chopped.” So I walked away because I was mad and shared that with Karla and Ryan. And then Karla went and told Cassidy. And then Cassidy tried to come and confront me and say stuff about me. “I’m not gonna tell you who, but I know something someone told me.” And I’m like, “Really? I know who told you.” I didn’t even say the name. I was like, “Well, I know she told you.” And she said, “Yeah,” so she admitted it right away. And then I went up to Karla after that and confronted her. I was like, “I know you’re working with them. You’re not working with us at this point. And I really want to work with you. If you choose that side, you see what just happened. She completely blew it up and kind of ruined your game. Because now I know you’re working with them. And if you want to work with them, that’s gonna happen in the future. So just stay with me and work with me and Ryan. We’re gonna like protect each other. The three of us are gonna protect each other. So we should all work together.” So that’s where the argument happened. And we just went in that direction. Whenever Cassidy came up to me the next time to say, “Oh, we should do this. You should do that,” it just didn’t feel real. It didn’t feel like she’s being honest with me. I knew she didn’t like me. I knew she was having a problem with whatever I was doing or saying, and I just didn’t trust her. So that’s why I felt, if she had a chance to take me out, she would, and that she was lying to me. And she was! (Laughs.)You spoke about Karla. What seemed to be the nail in your coffin last night was showing her the Knowledge is Power advantage you got, unaware that she had an idol. How do you look back on that decision now?I know it sounds crazy. But to me, the plan behind that was me wanting to show Karla that I trust her. Honestly, I felt like it was just Ryan and I working together. And it was kind of obvious, like everybody saw that. And it was Karla and James and Cassidy. So I have to do whatever I can to stay, even if I use this and show her, “Hey, I trust you. We should work together.” And I had a whole entire plan. I even said, “When the merge comes, we can protect each other. And we can take out the other two tribes that are trying to come for us. We need to stick together now more than ever, we should work together.” That’s why I wanted her trust. But I didn’t know she had an idol. Had I known, and maybe I would have thought about it, I would have maybe hesitated to tell her that. Or I would have just taken her idol and used it to protect myself! (Laughs.)Speaking of idols, Lindsay told me last week the women went through your bag and thought you had the idol for a little while. Were you aware they did that?Karla actually had come up to me and told me. I honestly feel like Karla was trying to work with us. But then she said, “I want to work with them instead somewhere in the middle.” She decided to work with the ladies instead and James. But she was giving me all the information that was coming from Lindsay and Cassidy. She would come back to us and tell us stuff. So she came up to me and told me, “Oh, they are going through your bag. And they know you have the idol.” And I was like, “Oh my gosh, that’s crazy!” Because this is some stuff that happens on Survivor. And I was excited, worried, but excited at the same time. Because this is what I came here to play the game. People think I have an idol? Am I that good? I’m scared every day, freaking out, thinking it could be me if we lose a challenge. But they think that? That’s crazy!A couple of episodes ago, you had the opportunity to open up about the struggles in coming out to your family, leading to you being estranged and even homeless for a little while. What was it like to tell that story, and what has the response been?At first, it was hard for me to share my story with people, because I didn’t want to come out as negative. I didn’t want to come out as I was trashing my family. They haven’t spoken to me in 17 years, but I still love them at the end of the day. And I don’t want people to say, “Oh my gosh, I hate your family,” because they’re my family at the end of the day. But at the same time, I want to show the world that this is what I’ve gone through. I made it here. I found a good job. I busted my butt to be where I am today, and the whole entire world gets to see that. If you’re going through this right now, you could really reach your goals. Don’t let your insecurities, don’t let your fears get in the way of your dreams. I don’t remember if I said that or if it made the edit. But for somebody was there out there struggling through what I went through, I wanted them to see that they can go through it too and be successful. But I got a lot of love from the community, you don’t understand. Not just the LGBTQ+ community, but straight people saying, “Oh my gosh, my son is gay. My daughter is gay.” Everyone just contacted me and made me feel so freaking good. I already felt like a winner because I touched someone’s life. And hopefully, I can help someone if they ever see me on the show. Or maybe moving forward, if anybody ever needs, they can reach out to me. I’m always happy to help people.Yeah, you said, “This is your chance to make it happen in life. This is your chance to keep going, and don’t let anyone stop you from what you want to accomplish.” And I’m happy to know that despite not taking home the money, you found a lot of emotional satisfaction with your journey on and off the show.I’m not gonna lie, though; looking back, everyone played a good game. Some people’s games were shown a little bit more than others. But that’s fine. That’s what Survivor is all about. And I’m so happy for the show, even the people that came for me and took me out, or the people that backstabbed me, or people that went through my bag. Even Lindsay, who campaigned against me from Day 1. I was happy to play with her. She was so strategic in the game, and she was already making moves on Day 1. So kudos to everyone that’s playing and whoever do what they need to stay there longer. Kudos to them, because they obviously made it farther than I did. (Laughs.)Next, read our interview with Lindsay Carmine, who was voted out in Survivor 43 Episode 4.
